As I sit writing this blog post, there are many things going through my mind
- from simple things such as needing to take the clothes out of the washing machine to feeling like I have no air and my heart is going to explode
This is my daily battle with anxiety
For the past few weeks, things have been amazing, fun and stress free which meant that my anxiety was at a minimum low with no major incident...
As nothing last forever, this morning has been rough. It started with the fire alarm going off at 7am and not stopping until 9:30
I think this has triggered an anxiety flare up that is just taking over my body and mind. Many "sufferers" will tell you that simple things like these can cause an attack - I think that being woken up suddenly triggers our fight or flight response and we are unable to calm down after things have settled down.
It's one of those days where anxiety and depression make me want to hide under my duvet and never come out again.
It's a feeling of hopelessness and deep remorse for not feeling what society dictates as being "normal"; feeling of despair and anguish, of not being understood by people that expect you to JUST MOVE ON!
I wish things would be this easy, I wish I could wake up and feel grateful and happy for what I have because I truly believe that I am blessed as there is food on my table and I don't lack anything.
But on days like these
During my more than 15years of dealing with anxiety in a drug free manner, I have learnt that getting things done helps me, doing just one thing that I enjoy gets me out of the bed and slowly eases me into my day.
It's small things such as writing a blog post, doing the dishes or cleaning that help me not feel so anxious about missing an entire day.
How do you deal with it? I would like to know how others deal with anxious day and panic attacks
I think talking about this issue is going to help many people because:
we can't judge others for being different
we are all different
Today, I have also decided to leave my photos unedited
- NO Photoshop
- NO colour adjustments
- NOthing artificial
- Just RAW
I am not perfect and nobody is either !
I am wearing a blossomed tree jacket to inspire you to wish for more and better, to do your best, but to accept that things might not go as planned and never give up
- just as trees blossom every spring so can you and I
Find the jacket here
Let me know what you think and if you'd like to see more posts like this one or maybe a Youtube video